Steve's 2 Cents: So You’ve Caught A Russian Spy – What Next?

I just came across this article in the form of a conversation and thought it a good behind the scenes look at one version of what can take place.

You may try to flip them first, perhaps offering work as a double agent—all with the help of the British, the French, or the Americans. If it doesn’t work out, you can still expel them and send them home to Moscow. 

In an in depth-interview, former Hungarian counterintelligence officer Ferenc Katrein—once a director of operations at Constitution Protection Office (AH)—goes into detail about how allied security agencies work together to identify and disrupt Russian intelligence activity under diplomatic cover. 

Why is it so rare for Russian diplomats to get expelled for spying?
A counterintelligence agency always has to decide if they want to develop a “spy case” that could result in an expulsion—or if they want to flip the spy. For example, if counterintelligence officers managed to reveal the agent network of a Russian spy and already flipped two or three of those agents, an expulsion makes less sense. They could either use the flipped agents to feed false information to the Russian intelligence officer—or make an attempt to approach and recruit that Russian. It goes something like this: “Listen, brother, everything you reported to Moscow for the last two years has been misinformation we fed to your agents. You’ll either get into some serious trouble because of that—or you can work for us.” There is also a scenario where you make this move and try to recruit the Russian, and if it doesn’t work out, you can still expel them.

How do you convince them to flip?
When you already have a few flipped or recruited agents and tons of personal information on that Russian spy, first, you will likely sit down with a partner agency, especially if you’re from a small country’s counterintelligence service. This is because, if you want to recruit a Russian spy as a double agent, you have to offer them certain guarantees and opportunities. Besides a big bag of cash, you can typically offer medical treatments for sick family members, helping out with the kids’ schooling, and such stuff. But most of all, you have to guarantee their safety. And there are only really a few countries that can offer this: the British, the French, but most likely the Americans. So you may want to involve them, too.

Let’s go back to the basics. How do you check Russian diplomats seeking accreditation?
It is an automatic process. When a foreign ministry receives an accreditation request for a diplomat, they notify relevant counterintelligence agencies, who then run it through their networks. 

These agencies both check their own database to see if there is a known history of the diplomat, and send the diplomat’s name and personal data to all member states who are in the alliance and ask for information.

Everyone in the NATO alliance?
Everyone. Usually, it is either the case that the new diplomat has a history in our own database or that one of the partner intelligence services will notify us and will send a specific message that the person has been checked or even processed. If there is an indication that a diplomat is connected to an intelligence service, it is also important to know in which area or “line” the diplomat is working. This is broken down by category, and usually the category or line also determines whether the person is suspected of being FSB, SVR or GRU. The categories have names or codes. Line N, for example, is illegal intelligence, line X is espionage in technology, etc.

If the partner service’s response indicates which line they suspect, it therefore follows that the diplomat’s affiliation is also indicated. For example, the X or technical line very likely means that the diplomat works for the SVR. If, say, the accredited diplomat is assigned to the military attaché’s office, he or she is likely to be GRU. So, the position also predicts which service it belongs to. Say, if a new security officer comes into the Russian embassy with new accreditation, that person is likely to be FSB.

Does a particular area predetermine whether the diplomat who comes there is, say, an SVR or a GRU officer?
Absolutely. Media, culture, and political department is basically SVR. Scientific-technology positions too. Defending and advancing Russian economic interests is also a typical SVR field. The consular department can be FSB, but there is always room for someone from the SVR. Military affairs, war grave management issues are GRU. Interior, law enforcement attaché, border security, migration issues are all FSB. But often it also depends on the individual’s personal history.

What about an exact position, what does it tell you? Is it true that certain positions, like, for example, deputy head of the commercial representation, always go to intelligence officers?
Yes, it’s common practice. If an intelligence officer finishes his or her posting after four years and leaves for Moscow, there is a good chance that the same position will also be filled by an incoming new intelligence officer. The reason is that—if we try to think like the Russians—it is easier for them to prepare their intelligence officers under diplomatic cover by teaching them in advance what they will be doing, and what the cover job will be. It’s important that the cover story is always there and credible, and that he or she can do the cover job without fail so that the cover is not blown.

And what are the categories in the identification process of an intelligence officer?
Mostly there is the category of “suspected intelligence officer” and “identified intelligence officer”. There is little point in maintaining any other category.

What is the percentage of suspected and identified intelligence officers among all Russian diplomats?Previously, well before the war, I said that thirty-forty percent was usual. But this is a difficult question. When you can clearly state that someone has been identified, then you have documents, evidence. Of course, you usually have less such cases. You have identification when, for example, you had an operation which resulted in some evidence. For example, you obtain a payroll that has the list of employees of a hostile intelligence service. 

Last year, we reported that Russian deputy ambassador and chargé d’affaires Kirill Logvinov was identified by Belgium’s counterintelligence as an undercover intelligence officer. Is it common for a Russian embassy’s second in command to also be a high-ranking spy?
Absolutely, but, in fact, it doesn’t matter how high up someone is according to their diplomatic cover. It can be a deputy ambassador, but can also be the lowest ranking diplomat. It’s just a cover anyway.

The European Commission refused to expel Logvinov and other suspected Russian spies from Brussels. How does that make sense?
There can be political reasons, of course—trying not to completely alienate Russia. There could also be a fear of retaliation. Then there is the possibility that these Russian intelligence officers are in fact acting as communication channels or backdoors to the Russian government. There might be regular discussions going on in the background, so that could be a legitimate reason. But if this is not the case, then not expelling them is only acceptable if Logvinov or similar Russian undercover intelligence officers are under complete surveillance, and the situation is controlled. 

For example, it could be the case, as we discussed, that multiple agents in the Russians’ network are already flipped by the local counterintelligence. However, I’m not entirely sure that the EU’s own security apparatus has the ability and the competence to recruit a Russian asset. Of course, it’s also not impossible that foreign partners—for example, the British or the French—are helping them out and that they are the ones carrying out such tasks.

What is the channel for sharing information on the background of Russian diplomats?
There’s a dedicated network, a central system that’s not connected to anything else, dedicated only for intelligence cooperation. It’s not just for checking diplomats, it’s for any kind of information exchange between partner agencies of the alliance. 

Is it possible that, if a Russian diplomat turns out to be an identified SVR agent, the host country will still accept the diplomatic accreditation?
This is a political decision. You can tell the Russian foreign ministry to send someone else, but you can also accept their diplomat.

But does it also mean that you accept it because at least you can keep an eye on that person and you can follow what they are doing?
There can be such an operational consideration too, of course. It is only worth accepting if you have the capacity to do it. If you don’t have the capacity, the opportunity, then don’t take it. This does not only apply to diplomats, but also to the technical and administrative staff working there, and also to family members. With that, the number of those who need to be checked multiplies. Because it is also common practice to bring a wife or husband who may also be an intelligence officer.

Do family members enjoy the same full diplomatic immunity?
Some level, but not full. Their use for intelligence purposes is therefore riskier because they may have a different type of immunity. They are generally used for minor tasks, delivery, financial transactions etc. where the risk is also lower. Obviously, they will not be used for the most sensitive tasks because of the lack of full protection.

How common is it for Russian intelligence officers to be sent with a spouse?
Usually, they send them in pairs. It’s safer for everyone, it’s better to send them if they come with the right family background. But it also depends on what the mission is. Singles may be sent on a different mission, or they may not even be used for operations in the country to which they are accredited. The best spies are used in a third country. That is why cooperation between counterintelligence services of allied countries is necessary.

How typical is it that the Russian diplomats themselves are not the most important spies, that they are more like bait to keep the host country’s counterintelligence occupied?
This is being deliberately done by the Russians sometimes. This is when it is important to mention that there are unofficial, non-diplomatic covers as well. Diplomatic cover gives you protection through diplomatic immunity, meaning whoever gets caught red-handed can be evacuated. If there is no immunity, prosecutors and the counterintelligence have much greater possibilities. However, when you don’t have diplomatic cover, and you have a better chance of staying out of the spotlight, you may not attract the attention of the counterintelligence, so you have greater opportunities for espionage. With bigger risks come bigger gains.

What is the procedure for expelling diplomats?
The counterintelligence service gathers the information, clearly identifies the hostile intelligence agent, and when the Russian activity goes beyond a threshold or the spy starts to build ties with political or economic actors who are really sensitive or high-up, there is pressure on the counterintelligence to act. In such cases, the counterintelligence files a proposal to the political leadership to let them first identify and catch in the act the intelligence officer, and then ask the political leadership to expel him.

But first, the politicians must also approve identifying, “catching” the spy. It is a decision on the level of a cabinet member, minister, sometimes even the prime minister, since the government has to communicate the consequences at the political and diplomatic level. It can have serious political and economic consequences. It is not an issue anymore, but this was the case previously, for example, with the fear of the gas supplies being turned off by Russia.

What is the typical Russian reaction?

There is a “mirror response,” for sure, and that has to be calculated in. To retaliate, Russia will also ban someone, typically the same type and same number of diplomats.

What are the types of expulsion?
There is the “quiet expulsion,” where the director-general of the counterintelligence summons the diplomat, the Russian embassy’s liaison officer, or the Russian ambassador, and suggests that the diplomat should go home. Maybe the director-general also shows the ambassador a photograph or two, just to explain the reason for the expulsion. This always works.

There’s also a solution where, say, at a diplomatic reception or party, the minister of foreign affairs starts a chat with the Russian ambassador and says a few words. It’s more subtle, more elegant, and less provocative. It could also be a way of avoiding a “mirror response.”

A more subtle degree of quiet expulsion is when the foreign minister summons the Russian ambassador and says a few words. But that’s still the silent category, informally asking to be sent home.  

Isn’t there always a mirror response to a quiet expulsion?
It’s a gentleman-to-gentleman conversation, “we’ll sort it out ourselves.” The Russians can also delegate someone else to replace the expelled diplomat. In such cases, there’s not always a mirror response.

What happens during an official expulsion?
In those cases, the ambassador is summoned and the foreign ministry hands over a written note that a diplomat has been declared persona non grata, which has a legal consequence as well. This note is usually handed over by the foreign minister. In principle, the expulsion is only valid from the host country, but in more serious cases, a recommendation can be made that the expulsion applies to the Schengen area. This version also binds the allies to some extent.

What is the deadline for leaving the country?
It depends on how serious the case is. Sometimes it is immediate, so basically within one or two days. But when it is a quiet expulsion, usually the host country takes family circumstances, like that the children have to be taken out of school, into consideration. So, for example, maybe in that case the Russian ambassador is told that the diplomat should leave by the end of the month. But for formal expulsions, there are set rules on how it should work. 

In the 48 or 72 hours between expulsion and departure, is the diplomat still under surveillance by counterintelligence?

Of course, until their very last movement! At that time, counterintelligence keeps an even closer watch to find out what follow-ups the diplomat has to do. That’s another bonus piece of information for counterintelligence. Who the diplomat is going to say goodbye to, where they are going to pick something up, drop something off. That’s why, no matter how much time the expelled Russian diplomat is given to leave the country, the diplomat’s own bosses will likely get them on a plane to Moscow as soon as possible.

About Steve: The Liars Box - AKA Proving I’m Not A Security Risk

Yes, “The Liars Box” is my code phrase for the dreaded Polygraph. I’ve sat for four of them. Some people say they’ve “taken a polygraph test” but I’d never put it in the same category as taking a test in high school or college.

Back in the day when I worked at the White House and Secret Service, I had a Yankee White Top-Secret clearance that was passed to the Secret Service and FBI. I had a separate clearance for NSA.

This was commonly called, having your tickets.

When I left the Secret Service and joined the National Guard, I was one of the few operators, at the time, that had a Top Secret/Sensitive Compartmented Information clearance which permitted me access to most DOD intelligence operations cells and centers. I also worked with a lot of cryptography equipment and codes as a Special Forces radio guy. 

As a defense contractor I’ve had “tickets” with NSA, DIA, DHS, FBI, and DOE.

Several of these agencies and the clearance level I was working at required my sitting for a polygraph. I passed all four of them, which surprised me the first time. I believe I passed because I wasn’t afraid to be open and honest.

BTW – I found out that altering a major test at my Army electronics course, so I’d be the first in schoolhouse history to pass, wasn’t a thing. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

I asked Jeff Circle, creator of The Dossier for some thoughts. He has experience with polygraphs and similar equipment.

Polygraph Overview and Findings
Polygraph examiners look for anomalies more than certain elements of truth or fiction, and their assessment of a subject begins the moment you meet them, well before you're connected to all those wires and tubes. If a polygrapher has gotten to the very end of an examination and they need a technical algorithm to tell them if you've been deceptive, you're honest and you've passed, you've earned an advanced life degree in lying, or they need to go back to school. The whole process is about deception detection, and that process is way more mental than technical, meaning the examiner needs to understand human psychology more than fancy equipment. An important distinction is that they're examinations ... not tests. "The box" isn't a machine. It's a device. A device used to help detect deception.

The thing about a polygraph exam is that it's all about the pre-interview. That's the one-on-one questioning between two people that occurs before "the box" even comes into play. Two of the anomalies that skilled examiners look for during these discussions are changes in how a subject answers questions throughout the interview and explanations for certain questions that don't provide a reasonable response to the average individual. If something doesn't make a lot of sense, examinations enter into a back and forth conversation until the examiner's satisfied. By the time the equipment is explained and connected, it should be smooth sailing. The subject has heard all the questions that are going to be asked and they know how to answer them with confidence. At that point, there should be no issues.

Philip Houston, famed CIA polygraph examiner, used to get the truth from people before he even hooked them up to any equipment. He was that good. It's all about knowing how to have a conversation with someone and then spot what's wrong. Some of it is observing physical queues that people under stress display when they're attempting to pull off a deception. The body betrays them, but at times, the ability to detect it can be more of an art than a science. Everybody who tells a story is different, and every body tells a different story. There's a lot of psychology involved, and some of it can be leading as a skilled examiner builds their question set. But in the end, it's all about detecting deception before you can get to the truth. That's what a skilled polygraph examiner looks for during each encounter. 

Let me end with a funny story.
A friend of mine that I met on the intel side told me that after his year in Vietnam he wanted to stay in the Army but not get shot at so much, he started his career as an infantryman. So, he applied and was accepted into an Intelligence Warrant Officer position. During his training pipeline he had to sit for a polygraph. Phil showed up in civilian clothes and the specialist four female examiner asked a few simple questions then strapped him up and started the test.

About an hour in she attempted to drop a bomb, in Phil’s words. She asked if he was a member of a motorcycle gang. He answered yes. Her head snapped up and then in a shaky voice she asked if he’d killed anyone. He said yes, can’t count them all.

She jumped up and exited the room. Fifteen seconds later she returned with two armed guards and a Warrant Officer 4. The WO looked at Phil who was trying not to smile and asked, “What did you do before intel?”

“I was an 11B squad leader.”

“Vietnam?”

“Yeah, 101st.”

“Motorcycle gang or club?”

“Club, I’m the secretary.”

The WO4 shook his head. “We’ll check on the club but don’t be a jerk. She’s new and you need to pass or it’s back to being a grunt. Roger that?”

“Roger that, Chief!”

They took a break and before restarting the test the Spec 4 asked Phil for an overview of his time in the Army. He recounted his time with 101st and his combat awards for valor. 

He passed the test and apologized to the spec 4, which was a good thing considering the next time he saw her she was a 2nd Lieutenant, and he was saluting her. Their story continues but that’s for another time.

Have you sat/taken a polygraph???

Best, 
Steve

About Steve: Cyclops

No kidding there I was…Pineland University – Land Navigation Program of Instruction.

Set the way back machine Sherman…I grew up in Northern California where the only maps I ever looked at were in National Geographic. I don’t count the endless globes littering schools back then.

I’d never been lost and thought I had an instinctual feel for navigating without a compass. Hiking, camping, and hunting. Maps…we don’t need no stinking maps…

At basic training you could almost see the next point on the star based compass course - the ruts from thousands of basic trainees who had come before at beautiful Fort Ord, Monterey California provided direction.

Skip past my time at WHCA, which was mostly in the urban jungle and here I am learning map reading and cool techniques like resection where you locate two points then draw lines through them to identify where you are.

Fast forward to the Special Forces Phase 1 course and navigating the relative flat and sameness of pine after pine in that area of North Carolina.

The map was essentially one flat terrain feature with the grid lines spread so far apart I thought I might have to head hundreds of miles west to hit the Smokies to find elevation.

When it became my time to start, I figured I run the course to give myself the best chance of finishing within the allotted time.

Back then, I was a very fit 30-year-old that could run miles with 55lbs on my back. a weapon in one hand and a compass in the other.

The first point was relatively easy, and I jotted down the code to prove I’d been there. A nice long drink of warm canteen water and I was on the way to point two. Thirty some minutes later I saw the point out of the corner of my eye and sprinted to where it sat between a trio of pines. 

I got to within twenty-five feet and something came into sight at face level. Without thinking I raised my rifle, an old A2 M16, just as the right side of my face and the rifle snapped the multi-strand wire that some jacknut forgot to take down after their field exercise.

It broke just below my right eye. There might have been some cursing. Okay, a lot. I leaned against the point and slid to the ground as my sight disappeared. When I tasted blood, I poured a canteen’s worth of water in my eye to ensure I could still see.

I did for a second, but the swelling took over and I lost the use of my right eye. I took my drive on rag – also known as a cravat (triangular bandage) and tied it around my head to cover my eye.

Now down to one eye and little to no depth perception, I decided to get my sorry ass up and continue the course but at a walking pace.

When I got to the end the primary instructor called his team over to assess my damage and told me I was fifteen minutes late. While the team medic stitched me up the Master Sergeant bequeathed me a team name that I keep for the rest of Phase 1: Cyclops.

There are no freebies given at Pineland University, so I’d have to redo the course the next morning. Later that evening a Sergeant First Class came over and asked if I’d been to Ranger school. 

“I watched you go straight from point to point through some of the nastiest crap on the course. If you had used the map, you could have made it easier on yourself and walked the course with time to spare.”

I told him my story, and he challenged me to look at the flat map in 3-D using the index lines to indicate elevation and the steepness of the terrain feature.

It took a minute then BAM as Emeril likes to say. My whole world changed. There was plenty of terrain on what minutes before, was a flat representation of the grid squares where we operated.

The next morning, I wasn’t the fastest, but I had the second-best time. And I didn’t damage myself any further, LOL.

Most of the best, impactful, and long-lasting lessons of my life happened at Pineland University, not to mention the lifelong friends I made.

#DOL

Free the Oppressed

Excerpt From My Upcoming Novella

On June 11, 2024 my prequel novella will be published. I will provide more details soon. In the meantime, below is the first chapter.


Chapter One

Crow Reservation 1979

The lightning and thunder racing across the plains mark his passing. Torrential rain tries to wash clean my memory of him. He was a good father during the in-between times. When he wasn’t hitting us.

I’m surprised he’s getting a traditional burial…but I know we follow our traditions for a reason. My mom keeps telling me he’s worthy.

I hate the drugs that have taken him and hurt my mother. It runs deep, but I keep it to myself. My father told me the story about the two fighting wolves. The white one good and the dark one evil. The one who wins is the one you feed. The dark one grows and my anger with it. To my mother I’m full of prayers and forgiving.

I want revenge…to rid the reservation of his dealer, the man who has caused so much pain, but what can I do, I’m fourteen?

Steve's 2 Cents - Becoming Your Own Publisher

A friend who was signed by the same publisher as I was, K.R. Paul, recently wrote a blog on the complete process of going through contract termination, and the options of moving forward: traditionally and self-publishing.

Below is an excerpt from the blog that covers self-publishing.

I’m following the steps outlined AND putting Shadow Tier 2nd Edition and Shadow Sanction 2nd Edition back online for KDP and paperback and having book #3 edited to publish in 2024.


Self-Publishing

Congratulations on picking the hardest option! Just kidding, marketing yourself to publishers and facing rejection is equally rough. The self-publishing route arguably has more steps because you will want to do a lot of administrative business actions before self-publishing. While these steps aren’t 100% necessary, I highly recommend you do them as several will grant you additional legitimacy when selling your own works.

  • Start saving now: self-publishing is inherently expensive as the entire financial burden falls on the author. Where your publisher can be on the hook for cover art, editing, and marketing, the self-published author will pay for this all out of their own pockets. The good side, however, is that all profits are yours! At the end of this section, I’ll give a breakdown of my costs so far and what I felt was a need versus a want.

  • Limited Liability Corporation (LLC): An LLC allows you to operate as a business, even if you don’t have a brick-and-mortar storefront. This is your point of access to business checking and credit card accounts. It will also mean your business can apply for loans and grants that you, an individual, may not be able to access. I also used mine as a layer of protection from nosey followers. My LLC is registered to a Post Office box which keeps me from having my home address publicly available. Finally, I used my LLC name as my “imprint name” when registering my ISBNs.

  • PO Box: Get a small one, ignore the first two pieces of scam mail that say your business has to put up big expensive posters. Check it when you think there is mail inbound and otherwise ignore it

  • Cool name: All businesses need a name. Pick one that is cool, interesting, and unique. Please, please, please Google your names first to make sure you would be the top hit for that name. Don’t pick the LLC equivalent of “John Smith!” Also, check social media to ensure you would be unique on most social media platforms. Nothing sucks more than finding out there are seven other “Athena Strategies LLC” in the USA and you’ll never get that Instagram handle!

  • Lock down the name: email addresses, website domains, social media, etc. Get the name before you register the LLC so no one snipes it out from under you!

  • Logo: once you have the LLC filed and approved, get a logo that relates to your new business.

  • ISBNs: Your work will likely have had an ISBN associated with its first publishing. Unfortunately, you are going to want to get new ISBNs to help readers differentiate your work from the one your publisher printed. Even more unfortunately, you need one per format (paperback, hardcover, or e-book) and they aren’t cheap. One ISBN on Bowker (the US source for ISBNs) is currently $125 each. So if you, like me, need four (two novels with two formats each) you can either buy four for $500 or bite the bullet, accept you publish more and buy the ten-pack for $295.

  • Who doesn’t need ISBNs: if you intend to publish exclusively on Amazon through KDP, they will supply you with free ISBNs. No need to sink hundreds of dollars into an ISBN you can get for free

  • Who needs ISBNs: if you intend to publish anywhere other than Amazon, you will need an ISBN for your work. Example: If you want to sell books on consignment at our local bookstore and want them printed through IngramSpark then you need that ISBN.

  • Rights Reversion Memo: If you have been let go, like KR Paul and I were, this is quite possibly the most important part of the process. You must, MUST be able to show that you own your copyright and have the right to republish your works. If you do not have the right reversion memo available you will wait nearly two weeks if not more. It will be 24 to 72 hours until KDP checks your work and gets back to you (assuming you don’t have minor cover and content issues to correct). KDP will, in the course of their checks, realize our works have previously been published and ask you to prove that you, in fact, have the legal right to publish your works. It is the true double-edged sword: I am glad they do their due diligence to check that no one steals my original works and uses them, but it is highly inconvenient to have to dance back and forth with KDP, my publisher, and then the waiting game with my inbox.

  • Timing: Ideally you want all of your parts and pieces input and the book to be “In Review” 24 to 72 hours before your publisher takes down their version of the book. I had planned to have these up on New Year’s Eve knowing that my publisher would have their version down on New Year’s Day (yes a planned two day gap). I did not factor in the timeline for the rights reversion memo which led to a week long wait for the paperback version of Pantheon and Pantheon 2: Areas & Athena to be live on Amazon and almost two weeks for them to appear on Kindle Unlimited and as purchasable e-books. (That one was on me, I missed that there were two separate emails requesting a rights reversion memo… not one for each book, but one for each format, but looping in each book… yeah, I don’t get it either.)

  • Media: As with those following the traditional publishing track, you need to be prepared for marketing. Fortunately, as your book has been previously published, you should have some social media presence and marketing materials. I highly recommend that if you have altered any of your cover art, create new media for publishing day. Additionally, if you have a mailing list, let them know the new editions are coming! And if you don’t have a mailing list you need one ASAP.

The Self Publishing Cost Breakdown

 

Yes. Starting a business is expensive. I broke down my expenses into three categories.

Necessary to conduct business: the Post Office box, LLC filing fees, the lowest tier of paid website on WordPress, and the four pack of ISBNs. I suppose one could argue that the ISBNs aren’t “necessary” for business but since I intend to sell the books at local bookstores, I deemed them a “need” not a “want.”

Administrative: Canva and the Fivver charges are administrative costs. Canva is a paid subscription which allows me to create my own marketing images, saving me having to either make shitty ones in PowerPoint (it was hella funny though) or paying a sketchy “digital marketing expert” to make them. The Fivver logo was so I could create branded merchandise for which I owned the copyright.

Author expenses: This category is a blurred line between author and publisher costs. This covers convention applications, my author website, and merchandise to sell at conventions. Since I didn’t have much Author KR Paul merchandise to start, it all got lumped in the same account. Now that KRP Publishing is my main publisher, the finances will be clear in 2024.

About Steve: What’s Old Is New!

As most of you know, I like going fast. Skydiving, road racing, motocross, downhill mountain biking, etc.

Hanging out on the edge just shy of losing control was my addiction. Then came the mental aspects of progressing to championship levels of competency. The final goal was to integrate mind, body, and spirit.

Along the way in every sport, I’ve pursued it’s been about being better than I was the day before. Incremental improvement with the occasional aha moment that leap frogged my performance.

Now as I look at 70 this year, my thoughts and goals are focused on family. Everyone else works but Elle and me. So, there will be space where I can create time for my passion. Yes, I’ll have to focus on my practice to maximize its value. Yes, I’ll grind to establish muscle memory.

There will be days and weeks that my training or racing will be interrupted, but for the best of causes, family. 

I’m cool with that. I’ll still live life to the fullest. I can’t do anything but.

PS - If I had a dream board for the year it would include:

The Grand Canyon

The UK & Italy

NYC and Nashville

The Cabin & Fishing

And a place called Unadilla MX in northern NY state.

Excerpt From Lance Bear Wolf/Shadow Tier 3

Stay tuned for more details on the next adventure for Lance Bear Wolf and the Shadow Tier team.

Elle’s primary role during infiltration is to monitor the minisub passive SONAR system. It too is automated and private proof. Fifteen minutes after I set the new course, my console alerts there is a contact.

A beat later Elle’s voice is tigh, “SONAR classifies it as a patrol boat. Speed twenty-six knots…it’s, it’s on an intercept course.”

“Roger that, I’m slowing. Hug the hull. Maybe they’ll think we are a shark.”

As the Cubans continue to close on our position, I use the intercom to ask, “You ready?”

I read concern into Elle’s clipped response. “Yep.”

Elle peeks over her shoulder, an unspoken message she’s getting nervous. I hear the boat through the water now. We’d not planned for this, so I’m guessing the depth of keel and the propeller. Are we deep enough?

I take a breath to calm down and stop my hand from shaking. Then I squeeze Elle’s shoulder. She squeezes my hand in response. I check my watch and think about going deeper just when the Cubans roar overhead. We are slammed one way then the other by the propeller wash.

My rebreather is ripped from my mouth, and I scramble to find the hose. As I struggle to take a breath, the carabiner clipped to my dry bag comes out of nowhere and strikes me over the left eye. Dazed, my brain is screaming, trying to tell me something. I’m confused, I’m struggling to put the pieces together, then it registers, where is Elle?

Steve's 2 Cents - Having Fun And Loving Life After A Year Of Loss

Things really do come in threes.

Danny passed in January
It was devastating. We pulled together as a family to support our daughter in law and grandson. In the process, we supported each other. We took our daughter in law and grandson to Hersey Park. It was a fun time. We had more fun fishing, rock hunting, and running around Casa Bonito.

My stepmom, Inez passed in May
This was different. I had a good relationship with her. Even more so after my dad passed. But she was frail and had dementia. Cleaning out the house was a fun stroll down memory lane with many of the pictures from my early years black and white. I sure looked a dufus, but with early onset of that twinkle in my eyes best known as “Hold my Beer!”

My publisher decided to close his business in July
I knew before Shadow Sanction published in August. It was going to be my last novel with Force Poseidon. I wish him well. He’s working on his second book. The event is not nearly as impactful as the first two losses, but it’s another change from the status quo. Luckily, I have embraced change since I can remember. I see it as a challenge, a time for growth.

On the personal side, Elle and I cruised to Central America and recently returned from a great work/vacation that started in San Diego, went through Napa to Lake Shasta, then back to San Francisco.

Elle has continued to teach cooking and I’ve completed Shadow Tier 3 (at the editor) and a Lance Bear Wolf origin story novella. I’m also querying a new series – working title – Code Name Snowman that you will hear more about in 2024.

We remain a strong family, okay - strange but strong. Much like the teams I was privileged to serve on in the Army, we are more than the sum of our parts. We choose to live life and love. There is no retreat, only forward.

To all that read this. I hope you had a Happy New Year and that 2024 holds great things for you.

About Steve: He Was The Best Of Us

On Jan 9th it will have been a year that we’ve not had Danny with us. His infectious laughter. His genuine caring for other people and his friends. But most importantly, his family.

But we go on. Sometimes in laughter. Sometimes in pain. We grind. And occasionally, we find lightness and grace.

We talk about him in the first person as if he is still here. I think we are all scared to lose him a second time from our memories.

We celebrate our grandson and daughter in law. Before, I was happy to be Grandpa Steve. To be Danny’s backup when he had to work.

Now I support our daughter-in-law. She is amazing.

But our grandson is lacking a good male model of how to be a man in the world.

During our trip to California, I had time to reflect on my goals for 2024 and beyond. I’d planned to race on a national level. Elle and I had planned to travel a lot. When not doing either of those, I’d planned to write, a lot.

But I’ve come to realize I can no longer afford to be self-centered if I expect my grandson to grow up and be the kind of man Danny was. The kind of man I aspire to be.

We joke in the military that no plan survives first contact. In this case, my plans slammed into the dual realities of taking care of my family and investing in our family’s future.

We’ll start the year with a short trip out of the country to let him experience a new people and culture. Then I’ll focus on what we can do here in Colorado and nearby Utah.

I’m on a mission and it’s one that makes me feel good. I know Danny appreciates it. I can feel his approval.

2024 La Familia

Steve's 2 Cents - Biden’s Fentanyl Deal with China – Cue Aerosmith’s Dream On…

During President Biden’s meeting with Chinese leader Xi, Xi agreed to curb the fentanyl trade.

As former CIA operative Andrew Bustamante pointed out, Xi came just shy of admitting to weaponizing the fentanyl trade.

But we’ve heard this get tuff talk before when then President Trump got Xi to commit to a crackdown to include the execution of exporters. The net result was the continuing growth of deaths due to the drug during his term in office.

As I explore in the Shadow Tier series, everyone from Wolf, Parker, and Kennedy to the President of the United States knows we can disrupt precursors and drug routes. We can take billions of dollars of drugs out of circulation, and it does nothing to stem the real issue – the American public’s demand.

From what I can find it appears that President Biden wants to make some minor adjustments to policy and help users with testing kits.

Former President Trump takes a more aggressive stance. Secure the border. Impose a total Naval embargo on cartels. Order DOD to inflict max damage on cartel leadership and operations. Designate cartels as foreign terrorist organizations. Choke off their access to the global financial system. Get cooperation with neighboring governments (read Mexico) to dismantle cartels. And ask congress to ensure drug smugglers and traffickers can get the death penalty.

What do you think it will take to start making a difference?

Additional reading from the NY Post
Federal data from 2019 indicate about 80% of offenders whose crimes involved synthetic opioids that year were busted for smuggling fentanyl rather than closely related substances.

CDC data on drug overdose deaths does not say whether fentanyl, a related compound, or both were detected, or if not enough information was available.

Preliminary data show that about 76,000 Americans died of synthetic opioids in 2022 — an all-time record up from about 72,000 in 2021 and 58,000 in 2020.

The CDC projects that monthly deaths from synthetic opioids continued to hit new monthly highs in the first half of 2023.

Xi’s commitment to halt exports has been met with skepticism — in part because former President Donald Trump boasted that he had convinced the Chinese leader to impose a severe crackdown including the execution of exporters, only for overdose deaths to continue to rise during his presidency.

National Security Council spokesman John Kirby said at a briefing Monday that “[Xi] has said he was going to be personally responsible for stemming the flow of these chemicals out of China, and we’re grateful for that.”

“That’s going to take a little bit of time as he goes back to Beijing and puts those processes in place — those law enforcement actions,” Kirby added.

Biden also urged Congress to approve $1.2 billion for fentanyl-screening equipment as part of a larger funding request in which he is seeking $14.3 billion to finance Israel’s war with Hamas and $61.4 billion to back Ukraine in its war with Russia.

About Steve: The Green Beret Mentality

How did you learn to grind through the suck and never give up? I want a Green Beret mentality.

Great question!

My personal path is founded on Gratitude, Grit, Persistence, and the willingness to Grind.

Gratitude - I take time to be grateful in times of good and when in the suck. It’s my choice to challenge myself in this life and that often includes grinding and pushing myself.

Grit & Persistence - I’ve never been a prodigy at anything, okay maybe napping. So, I need to do whatever I’m learning a lot to become average and a lot more to get where I want to be.

Grind - The grind/suck is a time of deep learning for me. What I'm made of and who I really am. Of course. I like to apply my MacGyver-ness along the way to see if I can improve the situation or at the very least, my perspective of the situation.

I seek to learn myself and new wisdom that I can integrate. To some I seem to have a Sun Tzu/Samurai outlook. To others a, “may the force be with you” goofiness, but I find my personal strength there.

I will never stop holding myself to a high standard. Not to be the very best at something but the best I can be. The only person I judge myself against is me from yesterday.

YOU CAN DO THE SAME.

YOU CAN ACCEPT THE GRIND/SUCK.

KNOW IT’S UP TO YOU TO SEE IT THROUGH.

AND ENJOY WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Develop grit, persistence, and a never give up attitude.

With these traits you will get farther than raw talent and can achieve anything you put your heart and mind to.

Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for the choices you’ve been able to make, and the ones you’ll make to shape your future.

Where do you find your strength?

A New Endeavor: SilverBack Publishing

I am excited to announce that I am a Partner in SilverBack Publishing.

The firm will enable authors to share their untold stories that did not fit into their books or never developed into a full novel.

SilverBack Publishing will focus on publishing novellas and will offer readers unprecedented influence and interaction with authors throughout the publication process.

The first novella, Chicago '63 by Terrence McCauley, an award-winning and #1 bestselling author, will be published early next year.

Learn more and preorder

Steve's 2 Cents - Sinaloa Cartel Stops Sales Of Fentanyl

Banners purportedly from Mexico’s Sinaloa cartel say the gang has sworn off sales of fentanyl.

From AP: MEXICO CITY (AP) — Banners appeared Monday in northern Mexico purportedly signed by a faction of Mexico’s Sinaloa cartel claiming that the gang has sworn off the sale and production of the synthetic opioid fentanyl.

But experts quickly cast doubt on the veracity of the claim, saying that fentanyl — which has caused tens of thousands of overdose deaths in the United States — remains one of the cartel’s biggest money makers.

Prosecutors in Sinaloa confirmed that the banners appeared on overpasses and near roadways but could not say whether they were authentic or who had hung them up.

The machine-printed banners purportedly signed by the sons of imprisoned drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman claim they have prohibited the sale or production of fentanyl in the northern state of Sinaloa. The sons are known as “the Chapitos” after their famous father.

Read the full article.


I agree with Mike Vigil, former head of international operations for the Drug Enforcement Administration. He said there is concrete evidence that “Sinaloa is the biggest producer of fentanyl in Mexico” and that there has been no sign the cartel is moving away from it.

As the article says later, in fact the Sinaloa cartel is moving away from plant-based products to synthetic drugs as they can be manufactured year-round and at much lower cost (following a big pharma model).

The primary issue from my POV, is the demand signal the cartels get from their American consumer. When cocaine and “standard heroin” are not enough…The cartels take advantage.

Concerning the demand signal, when was the last time you saw or heard of a don’t use drugs campaign? DARE? Drug Abuse Resistance Education. It started in 1983 and it’s still around but I had to look it up.

Now we try and make sure the user is safe. Needle exchanges, safe use houses, free Narcan, Fentanyl tests….

It looks like we’ve given up on helping people move past the need to use.

What would you suggest, to reduce the demand for illicit drugs in America?

About Steve: A Lance Bear Wolf Prequel (Novella)

I’ll keep this short so I can get back to writing.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. During Shadow Tier, I created a Lance Bear Wolf character profile and a veneer of back story to support the Wolf you met there. In Shadow Sanction you meet more of Wolf and his surviving family on the reservation. But his tribal identity is taken, which begs another story, for another time.

Currently, the prequel starts when Wolf is a young teenager, and he experiences a life-changing event. It will take us from there to ST-1 and lay a foundation of who Wolf is, his motivations, dreams, and goals.

Stay tuned for insights and leaks from the prequel.

And possibly a contest that has you in the prequel or Shadow Tier – 3.

Thanks for your continued support.

Steve

Steve's 2 Cents - The Cybersecurity Market Needs You!

Old software continues to be a problem. You’ve probably heard that keeping your software up to date (software hygiene) is a core software security practice.

The cybersecurity market needs you, if you are looking at a career change or just left the military, they need you!

When I call someone a cyber security practitioner, I mean it. You never arrive in the cyber security world, you may be ahead for a minute, but the bad guys are working to leap ahead and do, all the time.

If you like being in the fight, yes, it’s predominantly digital. And I mean all the time, it’s a great career with many options for new entrants to the workforce and older one’s alike.

There are many options for paid training, government assisted training, and of course, classes at your local community colleges and universities.

Massive Talent Shortage 

  • 3.4 million world wide

  • 750,000 in the US

  • A 35% increase over last year

This is from a SANS blog by Lance Spitzner

Many people think cybersecurity is all about hacking into or breaking things, but cybersecurity is really learning about and helping protect how both technology and people work. The key to your success is not a technical background, but your willingness and desire to learn how technology works and to never stop playing. In addition, there are a growing number of fields in cybersecurity that do not focus on solving technical problems, but instead on human problems. These require softer skills, such as policy development, security awareness, and training, governance, security communications, privacy or cyber law, and ethics.

See the following for what keeps people in the cyber security space busy. I’ve shortened the list considerably. This is just some of what Cyber Security practitioners deal with.

The following cybersecurity agencies coauthored this joint Cybersecurity Advisory (CSA): United States: The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA), National Security Agency (NSA), and Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

  • Australia: Australian Signals Directorate’s Australian Cyber Security Centre (ACSC)

  • Canada: Canadian Centre for Cyber Security (CCCS)

  • New Zealand: New Zealand National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC-NZ) and Computer Emergency Response Team New Zealand (CERT NZ)

  • United Kingdom: National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC-UK)

This advisory provides details on the Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures (CVEs) routinely and frequently exploited by malicious cyber actors in 2022 and the associated Common Weakness Enumeration(s) (CWE). In 2022, malicious cyber actors exploited older software vulnerabilities more frequently than recently disclosed vulnerabilities and targeted unpatched, internet-facing systems.

  • CVE-2018-13379. This vulnerability, affecting Fortinet SSL VPNs, was also routinely exploited in 2020 and 2021. The continued exploitation indicates that many organizations failed to patch software in a timely manner and remain vulnerable to malicious cyber actors.

  • CVE-2021-34473CVE-2021-31207CVE-2021-34523. These vulnerabilities, known as ProxyShell, affect Microsoft Exchange email servers. In combination, successful exploitation enables a remote actor to execute arbitrary code. These vulnerabilities reside within the Microsoft Client Access Service (CAS), which typically runs on port 443 in Microsoft Internet Information Services (IIS) (e.g., Microsoft’s web server). CAS is commonly exposed to the internet to enable users to access their email via mobile devices and web browsers.

  • CVE-2021-40539. This vulnerability enables unauthenticated remote code execution (RCE) in Zoho ManageEngine ADSelfService Plus and was linked to the usage of an outdated third-party dependency. Initial exploitation of this vulnerability began in late 2021 and continued throughout 2022.

  • CVE-2021-26084. This vulnerability, affecting Atlassian Confluence Server and Data Center (a web-based collaboration tool used by governments and private companies) could enable an unauthenticated cyber actor to execute arbitrary code on vulnerable systems. This vulnerability quickly became one of the most routinely exploited vulnerabilities after a PoC was released within a week of its disclosure. Attempted mass exploitation of this vulnerability was observed in September 2021.

  • CVE-2021- 44228. This vulnerability, known as Log4Shell, affects Apache’s Log4j library, an open-source logging framework incorporated into thousands of products worldwide. An actor can exploit this vulnerability by submitting a specially crafted request to a vulnerable system, causing the execution of arbitrary code. The request allows a cyber actor to take full control of a system. The actor can then steal information, launch ransomware, or conduct other malicious activity.[1] Malicious cyber actors began exploiting the vulnerability after it was publicly disclosed in December 2021, and continued to show high interest in CVE-2021- 44228 through the first half of 2022.

About Steve: A Fun Ride

49 years ago, I was the new guy at the radio section of White House Communications Agency. From a sleepy town in northern California where I spent most of my time outdoors fishing, hunting, and riding my dirt bike to Washington DC and in particular the Georgetown section along the Potomac.

I had no idea how turbulent the waters were that I’d jumped into, but with the help of senior NCOs and a crusty warrant officer or two I learned quickly. My introduction to working at and around the White House included several areas that were off limits due to ongoing investigations.

I applied my father’s advice to make friends with the people ensuring I got paid, the White House kitchen staff and a few others from three letter agencies that supported the president. I was 20 years old, with a Top Secret clearance, I knew nothing, and wandered around wide eyed most of the time soaking up everything I could.

It was the start of a fun ride that continues today.

Steve's 2 Cents - Cleaning Out My Parent’s House

Elle and I spent the last week traveling to Apple Valley California to clean out my parent’s house and get it ready for sale. The travel was fun and easy as we broke up the 14 hours of driving with a stop in Las Vegas on the way there.

The house is in a Sun City retirement community and the guard/gate process was completely different, but we worked through. Getting into the house I was surprised at the smile that crossed my face. My Dad and I had strained relationship (I thought he was a jerk. It’s the nicest words I can think of right now) until I decided to change the dynamic in my fifties.

I’m glad I did. He passed in 2014 and it was my step-mom who passed in May. When she had gone into a long term care facility four years ago we did some downsizing so this time was not, thankfully, like starting from scratch.

Still, it’s amazing what we can acquire and keep over a lifetime. One funny example is the manual from a 70’s radar range (microwave). The garage was coffee cans of nuts and bolts, boxes with five screws, and parts of tap and die sets. Lots of old sprinkler parts and weeping tubes. Everything we did not want and thought that someone like Goodwill would not take went into construction heavy trash bags that we loaded into the garage.

One morning when it was only 87 out, I took my battery powered sawzall outback and was going to cut up plastic deck furniture when a neighbor heard the sound and stopped me saying they would take as their neighbor had none. Turns out it hopped two fences in the exchange and went to a Vietnam vet. I couldn’t have been happier as I went back to work inside, in the AC.

We spent one whole day driving down the hill to San Bernardino to deal with the State of California. Death certificates are printed on a “heavy stock paper” that is required by the banks. I got an extra copy of my dad’s and we found out that Mom’s had not reached the county records facility. Evidently, in this age of real time speed of light digital systems it would take 45-60 days for it to get to them. The helpful lady told us to go to the health department.

Only Four miles away, Google maps tried to get me to enter a parking lot through the out exit. Good thing I stopped short, the spikes were facing my way. After a short drive down the sidewalk I started to enter the lot but it had a bar and it said restricted. Turns out Google wanted me to park in the employee parking lot. So, after getting turned around… I went around the block and parked in an appropriate place and entered a small building where we were able to get a copy of her death certificate.

Expecting an APB for a nutcase driving on the sidewalk we packed up and headed back up the hill to Apple Valley.

Another day was spent trying to get an appointment at the bank. The days of walking in and getting help seem to be gone, at least at the bank my parents used. Death certificates, EIN numbers and more are needed to close out accounts that I have to be added to, etc.

Tired and worn out from sleeping on the floor, Elle and I headed home where we are now waiting to see when we can get back into the bank to close accounts. The house is getting paint and new carpet. Our agent is excellent. There are steps to go but I’m happy that my parents set up their passing to make it as easy as possible on us. I knew my Dad was smart, I just never knew he gave a damn. Thanks Dad!

About Steve: What Does This Ski Lift Ticket Have To Do With Shadow Sanction?

What does this ski lift ticket have to do with Shadow Sanction?

My first time in Tehran, Iran was late in 1977. Life was good. Tehran was a fun city, full of life and filled with people interested in how Americans lived day to day. I remember them as especially interested in our capacity to do whatever we wanted and become whatever we desired.

BY 1979, the Shah, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, known as Mohammad Reza Shah, or the Shah had worked to transform Iran into a middle eastern powerhouse. The national income had risen 432 times over its level in 1963 when he introduced his White Revolution. Anger at his changes came from the outside when he nationalized Iran’s natural resources and began industrialization with the building of cars, appliances, and other goods.

During the Shah’s reign he spent billions on his military, at one point, making it the fifth largest in the world. One memory from my first visit to Tehran was the four-brand-new Boeing 747’s line up on the military side of the runway.

Nearby were eight Soviet fighter jets parked in a circle nose to nose. The military attaché later told me it was the Shah’s way of showing displeasure with the Russians. Another image is that of a soccer field filled from end to end with Bell helicopters still covered in shipping material with blades folded back.

So, we normally traveled in pairs, were met by a State Department liaison and then handed off to a pair of big burley guys who were our drivers. We loaded the eight boxes and three Haliburton cases of communications and other gear into a van, then we were directed to a sedan. The driver unbuttoned his coat before getting in and I see his Browning High Power and badge (lion holding a sword) – he’s SAVAK – Iran National Intelligence and Security Organization.

I’d expected State or Military Attaché support so being handed off the Iran version of the CIA was eye opening. We were in Tehran to support the Secret Service advance team who was preparing for a visit from Vice President Mondale. It took us two days to set up our gear and test the quality of the communications all with our SAVAK minder in tow.

Then it was Friday night and my introduction to the ABC club. An acronym for darts, drinking, and some great food with American, British, and Canadian staff from their respective embassies. I was assaulted the next hazy morning in my Inter- Continental room by a Marine and communicator who worked for the other team in the embassy.

“Get up, we’re going skiing.”

“You got a flight to the alps?”

“No, stupid. We’re going to Shemshak.”

Dumped on the floor and wondering how they’d entered my locked room I said, “Give me five.”

Exiting the shower, I was pointed to a pot of exquisite dark coffee and saw my teammate talking to the guys.

“He skied with President Ford and his son Jack in the back bowls at Vail. You’ll have a hard time keeping up with him.”

I’d been set up.

I was a blue intermediate skier at best. Black diamond runs were a crash in the making. I was surprised that my SAVAK minder wasn’t around. The Marine told me not to worry so I jumped in the car and we headed out. So, I cleared the air on the ride to Shemshak, a ski resort situated to the north-east of Tehran in the Alborz mountain range. I remember the equipment as old but usable and the slopes within my less than graceful method of skiing. The sky was dark blue and the temperature on the warm side which made for some heavy wet snow.

After several runs my dehydrated self-needed some water and food so I stopped at a little stand for a water and pastry. I found a seat and was taking a long pull on the water when a young man my age came over and sat next to me.

“You’re an American, would you mind if I practice my English?”

“Is it that obvious? And no, I don’t mind,” I said, my counterintelligence briefings popping warning signals.

The conversation was mostly about two things. Skiing and Skydiving. Both things we shared in common. When the talk got around to his asking what I did for living and why I was in Iran I said I was with a global telecom company looking at possible investments in Iran.

He was more forthright and explained he was a lieutenant with the famed NOHED Brigade. Iran’s most elite special forces unit. His first name was Kamran. It was a great conversation where I learned a lot about the people of Iran and what they looked forward to. We kept in touch, after I cleared it with my leadership and a few other interested parties. I saw him again in the US in 1979 and sold him a skydiving rig and altimeter. That was the last time I saw him and communication with him ceased after the revolution.

I often wondered what happened to him. Did he have to flee or did he thrive. When I started writing Shadow Sanction 44 years later, I was researching the movement of opium out of Afghanistan through Iran and remembered him.

Kamran became General Kamran Ahmad and Lance Bear Wolf became his friend in the west.

And that is what a ski lift ticket means to Shadow Sanction.

Steve's 2 Cents - War With The Cartels Is More Complicated Than It Sounds

This short but timely article on why “War on the Cartels” through military intervention into Mexico is not a sound idea. I agree with most of this article, in that over the last 50 years we have invested enormous sums of money into fighting the supply side of the cartels. The results have been limited and not affected the demand or ability of the cartels to supply the demand. I also agree that a strategy of working through and with the Mexican military is a better approach. But even that approach will have limited success when some of the 80% profits of the drug trade are used to pay off judges, police officers and politicians.

In Shadow Sanction - Wolf speaks to winning battles but not the war. It’s 2003 in the book and Afghanistan has been left for the war in Iraq. The military is focused on counterterrorism and the State Department and DEA are just beginning to develop their programs. Once again, it’s a supply side fight, until Wolf and Kennedy decide to dismantle a new French Connection and it’s Union Corsa mafia underpinnings. The story of Shadow Sanction is transnational, taking place in the US, Germany, France, Iran, and Afghanistan. Do Wolf and Shadow Tier win? Read it and let me know your thoughts.

“War with the Cartels Is More Complicated Than It Sounds”
Small Wars Journal
Michael L. Burgoyne and Albert J. Marckwardt
Read the article

About Steve: Fear

Fear - noun

ˈfir 

Synonyms of fear

  • an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

  • an instance of this emotion

  • a state marked by this emotion

  • reason for alarm: DANGER

Fear - verb

  • feared; fearing; fears

  • Fear - transitive verb

  • to be afraid of: expect with alarm

  • fear the worst

Fear - intransitive verb

  • to be afraid or apprehensive

  • feared for their lives

  • feared to go out at night

  • fearer noun

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…Here are the two fears that kept me from living my best life. It took years of life experience and professional help to overcome them and live my best life.

Fear of failure – my father had this interesting idea that if he showed me how to do something once, I would immediately get it. Like woodwork and motorcycle maintenance when I was six. Being told I was stupid influenced me and I stayed away from him as much as possible well up into my fifties. The result was as a young kid/teenager I did a lot of things for the first time through trial and error. Mostly error but somehow, I survived.

Fear of failure taken to the extreme, which I did often, meant I would invest myself fully in the activity to the detriment of relationships with my brother and sisters, friends, and co-workers. It also had the interesting effect of pushing me to seek out physically dangerous sports and activities so I could demonstrate my fearlessness.

Fear of not being good enough – If I cared about something, I wished it had been English classes, I would agonize over being good enough. I had a sense I was not the smartest nor the most physically adept but that did not keep me from setting self-expectations that I could compete at a high level in whatever I chose to do. One day in high school, I think late in my junior year, I decided that I would show my father I was good enough by focusing on my classes and make the honor roll.

But I ignored the emotional side of not being good enough, which meant that after an award, accolade, or promotion I would get right back at it as if it hadn’t happened. I was one of those people that was stuck in a revolving door of proof that I was doing things right that would get overwritten with my father’s message I was stupid and a screw up. Spending time with a therapist helped me see changing the message was an inside job and that it was up to me to make the change.

Once I decided to like myself, what I had done, and who I’d become, the fear of not being good enough lost its sway over me. I can now say that I enjoy the daily challenge of being a better writer than I was yesterday. It also goes for everything else in my life. I want to be better than I was yesterday but I don’t fear being good enough because I’ll never be done learning, improving, moving forward.

One final note on fear. I have more fear of rock climbing than I do leaving airplanes at ten or twenty thousand feet above the ground. Some people say its depth perception that makes the difference or that I have more experience leaving a perfectly good airplane. I think it’s a little of both.

Do you have a subject (like writing) or sport that you engage in even though you experience fear?